"Sydney" the Nail Tech: Everyday She's Hustlen'

When I find product or service I like I usually stick with it; shampoo, make-up, a presidential candidate. So when I first experienced “Sydney” the Vietnamese nail technician I was hooked. She did a great job on my nails and told me stories for 2 hours. We started off talking about the usual stuff you would talk about with your nail tech. “You have boyfriend?” “You so pretty you should have boyfriend” I know Syd, I know. She shed little light on her life and how she ended up in Las Colinas Texas. Same ol’ story, she grew up with her nazi grandma in New Mexico, moved to Florida when her Buddhist monk brother went away, was in medical school got in a bad car wreck lost her short term memory, had to drop out of college because she couldn’t retain knowledge. If you know me, I would have given this woman the keys to my car and house if I could at this point. Then, she adds the icing to the cake by telling me her husband is an alcoholic and beats her. Needless to say I gave her about a 50% tip and went on my somber way.  I went back a second time and requested her. She was so appreciative and gave me a little seashell jewel to express her appreciation. Fantastic. This woman is giving me GIFTS now! The third time I went back is when I started to notice that there may be more to “Sydney”. I noticed a very shiny diamond ring on her hand. I’m no jewelry expert but this looked about as real as I’ve seen; I watch the Beverly Hills housewives occasionally. But she is still telling me “my boys want chu chu trains and I have no monies” ughhh what should I do? Is she telling the truth or is she a LIAR!? Sydney isn’t really her real name!!! I let it go that time. Today was the straw that broke the camels back. I walked in and requested her. I had to wait a bit so I got out my brand new Ipad to play a bit. She walks up hugs me tells me how grateful she is to see me and brings me to her chair. I sit down and notice this chick is wearing a rose gold Michael Kors (Sp) watch! Again no jewelry expert (I mean I can’t even spell the dudes last name) but I know for a FACT you can’t get one of those suckers for less than $200. To top it off, she has a brand new sparkling diamond bracelet. Ohhhhhhhh helllll nooo. I am being hustled.  I acknowledge the bracelet and this little asian smartass has an answer to everything. “I had 5 best friends in Vietnam, all pitched in to buy for my birthday.” Good save. Then a bit later I take a shot at the watch. “Wow Sydney that watch is beautiful”. “Yeah, I have client who dances at club, she makes lot in tips and gave me watch”  NOT such a good save. Really scraping the bottom of the barrel now aren’t ya LINH TRAN! She tries to salvage whatever little sympathy I had for her still by saying, “I told my husband to move out, but boys want ipads I have no money for ipad” I then said oh well I hope everything gets better! She asks my birthday tells me I’m the year of the pig (wrong) and that it means “I spend lots of money” yeah Linh, if you really knew me you would know that is absolutely not the case and will not be the case when I leave this salon. Thanks for all the cool stories and sweet 5 minute back massage.
 
            Moral of the story is I will go back to Sydney because she does an excellent job; however the tip will be significantly less. I’m pretty sure she is 100% American and adds the accent for effect. I give her props though because after me, there was a woman waiting JUST for her for 30 minutes. Play on playa, play on.

Crime Shows--Entertaining TV or Gateway to Paranoia?

First off, I would like to thank all that have taken time out of their busy schedules to read my pieces. They are purely for entertainment and I am not a licensed anything. Just a forewarning. Any pseudo-advice I give is purely my opinion. Do I even need a disclaimer if I only have 2 people that read this? Anyway, I digress. I got away from writing because I have a “real” job but now I am back and ready to fill all of your little heads with my opinions and ridiculous life experiences. Now on to the topic at hand.

If you know me well enough you are fully aware of my obsession with crime shows. Law and Order, Criminal Minds, the entire ID network; you name it I watch it. Besides NCIS, Mark Harmon is way too creepy in that show. This obsession can be interpreted one of two ways 1) I should have been a criminal justice major or 2) and the most logical, I was an FBI agent in another life. As I was watching one of my faves “Disappeared” a few days ago on ID; I began to turn another light on every few minutes until every light in my house was on. At this point I knew there was a problem. Was I scared I was going to disappear from the 3rd story of my closed in AND dead bolted apartment? Nonsense, I just had one too many glasses of wine. So off to bed I went.

Lately, I have really started to realize that I walk a lot faster and I look over my shoulder a lot more than the usual 3 times while walking alone. It has been brought to my attention by co-workers and family members that I walk at a not-so normal speed and I didn’t have answer as to why. Was I in a RUSH to get the better stall in the bathroom? No. I was a schizo. Every time I walked the 3 yards from my work to my car I held my switch-key in my hand like a brass knuckle. When I got home from work I would take my heels off first so if someone popped out of my closet to try and rape me I had a weapon. This got bad enough to the point I went to see someone about my anxiety. The head doctor told me I have “thoughts of impending doom”, wrote me a prescription to Xanex and sent me on my way. Are you kidding? No shit I had thoughts of impending doom; I don’t have SSA Derek Morgan by my side to make sure nothing BAD HAPPENS TO ME!!! (Criminal Minds reference, ladies if you don’t know who this is Google him…yum).

Moral of the story is there isn’t one. I still enjoy my morbid pastime and am a psycho because of it. It’s all good though because I always solve the crimes before the actual detectives do. In. your.face.Mariska Hargitay… Until next time kiddos, this time I will try to do some at least two times a week. Adieu…